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Dealing with negative elderly parents in Kansas City

elderly care planning

Dealing with negative elderly parents in Kansas City

It’s no secret that many of our elderly parents and grandparents have their moments. Whether it’s frustration at a pharmacy or even just a complaint about a waiter at a restaurant, we’ve all experienced those “oh no” moments with our aging loved ones.

As an elder law attorney in Missouri, we’re no stranger to the negative elderly parent-frustrated adult-child dynamic. The role reversal that comes with adult children caring for their elderly parents can feel like quite a shock to those who have grown up respecting and obeying their wishes.

Is there anything you can do to deal with negative elderly parents? In Kansas City, Paths Law Firm works with hundreds of clients across Missouri every year to help them find the right solutions for wills and trusts, asset protection, and even VA benefits and Medicaid.

Here are some healthy ways of dealing with this negativity so it doesn’t impact their care, or worse, your relationship.

First: Can I refuse to care for my elderly parents?

*This blog is for educational purposes only and should not be considered legal advice. The use of the Paths Law Firm website does not constitute a client-lawyer relationship.

The causes of negativity in elderly parents

Becoming negative with age at first may seem self-explanatory. Isn’t mom frustrated because she can’t get around like she used to?

Actually, there are a variety of other factors that could be causing your elderly parent to behave poorly or react negatively to small inconveniences. This could include:

  • Changes in medication
  • A physical illness or even infection (ever had a UTI? Not fun.)
  • Dementia or other mental ailment or illness
  • Chronic pain
  • Boredom
  • A sense of lost control
  • Hearing loss
  • And others

Most people know their parents very well. Have they always been negative? Or is it a recent development? Your insight may help determine the cause of their negativity and put you one step closer to dealing with it appropriately.

Dealing with negative elderly parents

Looking for tips on dealing with negative elderly parents in Kansas City? Here’s a good place to start.

1. Don’t get drawn in.

The absolute easiest way to curb dealing with negativity is to ignore it. Don’t allow yourself to be drawn into their complaints or arguments. Separate yourself from the situation or their words and find healthy outlets to release any stress or frustration.

2. Find others to help you.

When dealing with a negative elderly parent, you may need to lean on a sibling or other family member to help care for your parent when you start to feel overwhelmed or defeated.

In fact, in a popular Forbes Magazine article, the first priority they list when dealing with elderly parents is to be sure to put yourself first sometimes. When you have a support system built around you and your parents, this becomes a much easier feat.

3. Stay away from triggers.

If you know your parent or grandparent is easily upset by certain topics such as politics, a specific person, or an activity, try to steer the direction away as much as you can even if they seem like they’re in a good mood. You should also avoid saying any hurtful or unproductive statements that may set them off.

4. Get professional help.

Seeking professional help from a variety of sources (such as a care assistant) can help mitigate your worry or frustration about your elderly parents. It may help lessen their frustration, too! When people get the care and resources they need especially if it involves a third party who will listen to their concerns and help them cope with their given situation it can greatly reduce the amount of negativity they feel.

Oh, and your elderly parent isn’t the only one that deserves help. You do too! A counselor or family therapist may be able to help you build coping mechanisms to help you deal with the toll their negativity may take on you. 

Learn more about elder care in Kansas City from the experts at Paths Elder Law

Dealing with negative elderly parents is no easy feat.

If you need more help with navigating the confusing world of end of life care and assisting your elderly parents, please don’t hesitate to give us a call.

Reach out to Paths Law Firm today to schedule a consultation and you’ll be one step closer to the peace of mind you’re searching for.


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